Fleshlight Reviews / Info from January 31st, 2009

Have you ever paid for sex?

January 31st, 2009
I was just watching Cathouse. Dennis ,the owner of the Bunny Ranch, made a statement that all men have paid for Sex ? and if they say they have not they are lying. I honestly never have, unless you count the fleshlights ?, which I paid for.

I think the best ? part of a causal hook-up is the "hunt and capture" thing, which we got from the cavemen. Going to a whore house is like hunting in game preserve. I would also be really turned off by the fake aspect the girls have to put up to get your business; .I would be more inclined to charge a woman than pay her:laugh:.

I love the show though. The last time I was in Vegas, my friends were going snowboarding near there and I wanted them to get me a t-shirt. Their girlfriends would not let them go. I stayed in Vegas where it was relatively warm. A one hour "party" there, with a girl averages $1000. I would never pay that. I spent less than that for a full week in Vegas. I would still like to go there. I would pay a cover charge up to $100 to hang out at the bar. I would love to meet Madame Suzette and some of the girls, but not have Sex ?.

They say the girls average $50,000 a month. I don’t know if there is a market for women wanting a guy but I may apply for a job. The one I have may not be there in a few months, and I do not make that much in a year.
:dog:

The Suction

January 31st, 2009
Whats going on everyone?

I have a question regarding the suction feature on the Fleshlight ? (I put the inquiry here since I only own the STU ? as of now).

I’m just curious about how tight you people keep your suction in regards to having the average "realistic ?" feel to a Vagina ?. I tend to keep the suction somewhere in the middle (not 2 tight nor too lose). When it’s too tight I tend to not feel the "ribs" as much and same goes for when it’s barely tightened.

What are your guys’ settings lol?

Leave some feedback please.

Essay on the blessing/curse of delayed ejaculation & confessions: FL noob mistakes

January 31st, 2009
***Mods: Feel free to move this thread if you feel it is not appropriate for the Fleshlife forum, though it’s main scope is more about my condition than a testimonial ?***

Hello fellow fl-ers. I have now officially lost my Fleshlight ? virginity. I finally gave in and had some extra cash lying around and got one. My reasons for buying it are: 1) I live in a POS town in the middle of nowhere where there are literally no women and the average age is 40+. 2)I’m closing in quickly on an almost year-long dry spell with no hopes of it ending anytime soon. 3) But mainly, I am the lucky/unlucky victim of delayed ejaculation and mild multi-orgasmia, so I wanted to see if the Fleshlight ? could help me control this condition. It arrived today and I popped its cherry right away, but before I get into the nitty gritty, here’s a little background of myself and my condition-of-sorts:

It’s been just under a year since I actually lost my ‘real’ virginity (spring ‘08), and while I’ve only ever been with one woman and only on two (week-long-non-stop-romp) occasions, I guess I could qualify as being ‘waaaay-more-than-broken-in’ but "with low mileage"; Experienced, yet without much practice. It wasn’t until my GF at the time stole my virginity that I became aware of my condition, which has been both a blessing and a curse. Blessing, because I’m pretty sure I can out-last, out-fuck and out-please any woman out there; for my ex couldn’t get her hands off me and had to beg me to stop at times, and apparently I had quite a reputation with her (idiotic) sorority sisters thanks to her. Curse because it makes Sex ? seem like just work from my end and I don’t get much out of it.

At any rate, to put things into perspective: During my first time, it took me hour and a half to cum (yes, as in 01:30; I was keeping track of time when I figured something was wrong), and that was only after I pulled out and she gave me a (rather lousy,considering she was a sorority-skank) handjob. Needless to say I was rather baffled and frustrated, and my ex wouldn’t believe I never came in her until I showed her the 3 empty condoms I went through. I honestly wasn’t too nervous for a first timer, my ex (who fucked better than any porn ? star I’ve seen on video ?, even though she supposedly only ever did 5 guys before me… uhm huh, no sorority bitch is that innocent]) was rather reassuring and my heart has been throbbing way worse for other things, as when riding my bike uphill.

It then dawned on me: I remembered my parents mentioning at some point in my life how I had "problems" when I got circumcised. "Problems" meaning I got an infection after they snipped me, therefore, they snipped me again. So I have an extended-circumcision. Meaning, since circumcisions greatly reduce sensitivity to begin with, I have barely any sensation whatsoever compared to normal guys. Yet I’m your average joe in every other aspect At 5.5" by 4" in girth. I sometimes wish I knew what it felt for those of you that can climax in less than 10 mins when going at it by yourselves. The least it will take me is 30 mins when jerking off, usually longer; I guess I’m numb in a way. I say that because, especially when my GF would ride me, the sensation of her thighs and every other of her body parts touching myself would far over-power the sensation of my penis being inside her. Then again, our first time she felt overly tight and was very uncomfortable. But subsequent times she felt extremely loose, like hot-dog-in-a-hallway loose, so It’s hard for me to judge feeling considering how inconsistent her "tightness" was, and her being the only woman I’ve slept with.

On a later occasion, when I finally managed to cum inside her (not until she came 12 times supposedly) it took me close to an hour, and I had to use no condom since the condoms (even the Crown Super Thins I bought) pretty much obliterated what little feeling I had. Needless to say, despite an amazing (according to her) 5 hour non-stop romp where she had to beg me to stop, I was pretty frustrated and the worst part is that my ex was getting frustrated as well, and started to blame it on herself. But the good thing is that she took it as a challenge upon herself and she tried to make me cum sooner and I got to experience an almost continuous hour-long blowjob ?, but I still didn’t cum, though I was on the verge when she gave up because she was exhausted.

Anyways, my unbeknownst-to-me-at-the-time-two-faced-man-eating-ungreatful-sorority-whore-extraordinaire-and-trophy-wife-bitch-in-training-of-an-ex-gf-who-eventually-flaked-out-on-me-and-who-most-likely-cheated-on-me (gotta love long distance relationships) was the last woman I ever touched, so far. So I used this dry spell to reflect on my condition, and of course to vent my hatred for my ex for using me like that.

At first I thought this was a terrible thing to have, at times it seemed I was completely anorgasmic when having Sex ?, and I was getting very depressed. I turned to my old man for advice. And I was quite shocked at his response. He pretty much told me: ‘Quit whining, many men out there would kill to have your "condition"’. And he was right, this was one of those things where I had to make an effort to keep my head up, and turn a bad thing into as much of a good thing as I could. So far I’ve been thinking of my condition as more of a blessing, but I’ve yet to put it to practice in bed…

Enter the Fleshlight ?.

Like I said, one of the reasons I bought it was to see if I could somehow train myself to getting used to my sensitivity, or lack-thereof. It’s still too early to tell if it helped, but I have a feeling it will, since so far its only been hours since I took it out of the box it came in. (Which, by the way, I was very disappointed with the packaging; it looked like somebody just tossed a few peanuts here and there and then the Fleshlight ?, but in ILF’s defense it would be pretty hard to break one and it arrived safely nevertheless.)

So my first attempt, being that I was running short on time since I had important stuff to do in less than an hour, was disappointing, but I’ll blame that solely on my idiocy and hastiness. I warmed it up and did the whole ritual beforehand as recommended, but I opted to go at it without Lube ? since I had none with me and I never used it when going at it with my own hands. And fuck me, was that ever a bad idea…

Long story short: I could barely stick it in and once I did, the outer portion of the whole thing flipped inside out, which meant that I could barely pull my junk out. Epic fail indeed. I decided to go to the local store and get some Lube ? after doing my errands.

Round two, enter the lube: ah, much better, but I wouldn’t call it amazing by any means like many of you in here. Mind you, I don’t feel much. But I can report that it does feel close to the real thing, or at least to what my ex had. It took me about 45 mins to cum, but I was pleased to find out that, like with my own hands, I can be multi-orgasmic with the FL, I came about 6 times after within 3 minutes, which means that hopefully I can be multi-orgasmic within a woman as well, but that will take lots more practice with an actual female, not to mention lots of luck to even get one in this steaming-pile-of-shit of a town I currently live in.

The FL fell somewhere in between my ex’s super-tight moments and hot-dog-in-a-hallway moments. I figured the Original lady ? would suit me best ? for that reason. Not too shabby, but not wow either. I’d say it fit me well, maybe a tad towards the loose side. As far as the sensation is concerned, I like to think of it as a reminder of what being inside a woman feels like, minus her skin thrashing against your body, her tits jiggling over your head, and her panting and moaning. Not a realistic ? simulation, certainly not the best ? thing since warm sliced bread, but a good reminder. I do have to get better Lube ? though, I’m currently using WET Original and I’m almost halfway through the bottle, after barely 3 hours of continuous use, it dries up and gets sticky really quick.

I think it could very well help me improve, and hopefully let me control my blessing-of-a-curse. I’ve read almost everybody here says the FL gets better with time, so that being said, time will tell…

I hope I didn’t come off as arrogant and full of myself, I’m just trying to make a once-frustrating situation into something for the better, and hopefully it will help those of you unlucky/lucky enough to share my condition. I honestly wish I could be as sensitive like those of you who have my anti-condition (premature ejaculation), for you guys can fix it easily with pills, thick condoms, you name it. I’m sure my greatest orgasm was nothing compared to what you guys get on a daily basis. As for me, while for the few people with my "condition" have it mainly for psychological and other stress related issues that CAN be treated, I can’t, for its purely physiological (missing skin). I will never feel like I did for the few moments I wasn’t cut when I was born, and there’s no way in hell that skin that was taken from me will ever grow back.

Thanks for reading, I hope your eyes aren’t bleeding too much by now and I hope you have enough energy left to comment after you just read this huge blob of keyboard-ejaculate-produce.

Hey

January 31st, 2009
Hey just want to say hi…

Last Sunday I don’t know what came over me but figured maybe I should get a Sex ? toy ? to help my skills…

You see I’m a virgin, anyways after checking yahoo ?!answers and other google ? sites I came across the Fleshlight ?!

Long story short after checking out some reviews i decided to make a purchase…..

Well couldn’t decide so I make TWO purchases, the STU ? and the raven riley lotus.

Well anyway the package just arrived (with a smaller than expected Lube ? case) but I was wondering, does the flesh light packages come packed in powder or something?

If so will just a warm water wash do the trick or do i need also some rub in alcohol?

If its doesn’t usually come packed in a sprinkle of powder, I wonder if UPS did something with my package….

But happy to be here, and just wanted to introduce myself…

Eagerly Awaiting!

January 31st, 2009
Hi all,
I’ve been lurking around the boards for sometime now, and after about a month and a half of deliberation I decided to buy a Fleshlight ?. Also after all this lurking through the forums I have become convinced that I’m practically the only person who has ordered the Vanilla DeVille lotus.

Barely being able to stand the wait i decided to track my package with UPS… I believe this is the critical error that will drive me nuts with anticipation.

As i glanced at the tracking Information ? it says that it was received on the 27th and was on a plane and heading out on the 28th… then, weather delays. So i decided too check what airports had weather issues; New York, fair enough apparently UPS enjoys shipping things from Texas to NY and back to the west coast (sorry, no more specific location for you). I couldn’t believe the bad luck. So i has become a hobby to check the status once in the morning and once in the evening…and maybe a few thousand times in between :D . According to them it hasn’t moved since 12:30 am on the 28th. Since I am incapable of believing them I sit and wonder :musical-note:Oh where oh where could my new Fleshlight ? be?:musical-note:

Until I get an answer ? I will continue to make my way though the boards and torture myself waiting for it to arrive. The long story short is, I’m waiting and it is in no way the fault of ILF, and if anything when i come back to write my review ? the waiting will do nothing but increase their grade.

Happy FLights (You lucky buggers :wink: )

Baron and Plank

I made 470,000 sperm while typing this????

January 31st, 2009
Wow.
Guys should be proud.
Women are unlikely to be surprised.:D

Numbers from various sources vary…but……

Average daily ejaculation: 60 million sperm in each of my 3ml.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…………

60,000,000 x 3cc + 180,000,000 per day.

7.5 million swimmers per hour.
125 thousand per minute.
Just over 2,000 per second each and every second of my adult ? life.

2,000 per SECOND!

Makes my wife sort of humble, what….with her one measly egg per month.

Makes my wife (quite begrudgingly) understand why I’m so insistent about wanting to deposit all those millions of sperm in her.

Isn’t life (and mathematics) great.

Great!! My T.P. Twista is on Backorder

January 31st, 2009
Last night my Twista was in "picking" and now it is backordered. :( I was hoping to have a little session tonight when I got home.

How long will it be on backorder do you think?

Did you guys lose it in your new warehouse?

This sucks. My penis is getting enraged with me because I promised it a great time with someone new. :)

Sexercise me - hands free option

January 31st, 2009
I am amazed that ILF has not made a "hands free" product/holder. For years their customers have been asking for something. Based on all the comments and postings from everyone I suggest you read on …

I understand they have to look at the return on investment. It can be done if they start out with something basic and in a affordable price range. They need to sell enough volume to make a profit and get a return on their investment.

… and with that statement lets help ILF with some ideas. My idea is to work with this company=> www sexercise me <=(becuase this is my first post I cannot include web sites URLs so put a "dot" after "www"" and before "me")

They make the product Sexerciseball for a woman’s vibrator ?. The vibrator ? is threaded into an exercise ball to give the woman a "hands free" experience. Go to their web site for more info ? and pictures ?. (I was afraid I would get in trouble with copyright laws if I was to post any pictures ? from their site)

I am not an engineer but for this to work with a Fleshlight ? the following would be needed.
1) Design a two-part Case … think of the current Case with external threads at the top of the case and a separate piece with internal threads to screw the Case into. This would have a vented design on the internal threaded piece to let the Fleshlight ? vent (based on the end cap being loose to your liking).
2) Mold the inflatable "Sexeriseball" in a tall/long hourglass shape with the internal threaded part molded into the bottom of the hourglass Sexeriseball" and slightly on top for a proper angle of the Fleshlight ?. The shape must be hourglass or when inflated it would be one big ball … think of squeezing a balloon in the middle to get a longer flater shape.
3) Another idea is just make the two part case to sell as an option for the customer to sew it into a long fabric body pillow shape stuffed with craft poly-fill or glue the insert into a modified Inflatable Doll.

They sell the ball for $79 and I think that is a fair price for a hands free Fleshlight ? product … if ILF would grant this company the permission to make a Case for a Fleshlight ? Sexerciseball in an hourglass shape would you buy one?

I would buy one.

New Fleshlight Club!

January 31st, 2009
Join the Fleshlight ? Groupies club! This yahoo ? Group is for Fleshlight ? fans! You can upload and share your own pics and vids (no Sex ? or nude pics please).
I am using this site to write articles mostly, obviously you adding your own review ? or article will be welcomed.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fleshlightgroupies/